Craving....

"There are roughly three New Yorks. There is, first, the New York of the man or woman who was born here, who takes the city for granted and accepts its size and its turbulence as natural and inevitable. Second, there is the New York of the commuter — the city that is devoured by locusts each day and spat out each night. Third, there is the New York of the person who was born somewhere else and came to New York in quest of something.
...Commuters give the city its tidal restlessness; natives give it solidity and continuity; but the settlers give it passion. "
— E.B. White

Split Personality

Sometimes I think I have a split personality.

But not in the way you are thinking

Maybe its more like a split taste?

When I catch myself daydreaming of my ideal place to live, I see myself in a comfortable house, somewhere in small town USA. A dirt road leading to my garage, my wrap around porch, my garden, and of course that beat up old truck the boy would be working on. I see myself walking barefoot around my home, having a large space for a backyard, a big picnic table for entertaining guests, and two dogs. It’s a small enough town where you know your neighbors, and the people that work in the stores in town, but large enough that everyone isn’t getting into everyone else’s business. Yes, I know this sounds like something out of a movie. Its my daydream.

But in a completely opposite daydream, I see myself living in bustling NYC. Loving my 400 square foot apartment, eating out almost every night, wearing a cute coat everywhere in the cold months. Memorizing the subway routes, hailing taxis, knowing which touristy places to avoid, spending a lazy Sunday museum hopping. A place where NO ONE knows their neighbors, and certainly no one says hello on the streets. The only person you probably have a daily greeting with is the barista at YOUR Starbucks. Having rooftop parties with white lights, and martinis overlooking the city, an abundance of bars and restaurants to choose from. Designer clothes, too high heels, accessories galore. Perfect hair.

I just don’t know which one I want more. Maybe someday I can have them both. Maybe someday I’ll also win the lottery.