I bought my first pair of Spanx last night.
I bought my first pair of "knock off" spanx.
I held up two sizes and couldn't figure out which to get. One looked incredibly too small, but the other was too big according to the size chart they provided. I went with the too big size.
Too big, my ass (pun intended).
I got home and couldn't even fit the thigh part of it over my knee. Now under normal circumstances, I would have just exchanged them for the larger size. But unfortunately I need them tonight, and have no time to exchange them. And I can't get away with not wearing any, because well, the dress I am borrowing is curve hugging. And these days, I've got lumps. not curves.
**I'm not fishing for compliments, so don't even try."
So I did what any normal girl would do in an emergency like this.
I CUT THEM.
Meow! I have never looked so hot. Not that Spanx make a girl feel undeniably sexy, but these make me look like I bought them from Edward Scissorhands. Whatever, as long as my tummy is slimmed, right?
And no, I will not provide any pictures for your entertainment.