Image Courtesy of Todd White

Friday, October 29, 2010

Spanx.


I bought my first pair of Spanx last night.
Correction.
I bought my first pair of "knock off" spanx. 
I held up two sizes and couldn't figure out which to get. One looked incredibly too small, but the other was too big according to the size chart they provided. I went with the too big size.

Too big, my ass (pun intended).

I got home and couldn't even fit the thigh part of it over my knee. Now under normal circumstances, I would have just exchanged them for the larger size. But unfortunately I need them tonight, and have no time to exchange them. And I can't get away with not wearing any, because well, the dress I am borrowing is curve hugging. And these days, I've got lumps. not curves. 
**I'm not fishing for compliments, so don't even try."

So I did what any normal girl would do in an emergency like this.

I CUT THEM.
Meow! I have never looked so hot. Not that Spanx make a girl feel undeniably sexy, but these make me look like I bought them from Edward Scissorhands. Whatever, as long as my tummy is slimmed, right?

And no, I will not provide any pictures for your entertainment.  




9 comments:

  1. Please...talk to me when you've bruised a kidney and ruptured your spleen trying to get into a pair. Welcome to my world.

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  2. Great idea!

    I love my Spanx. They mock me, but I love them.

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  3. Sounds like my spanx experience. I love what they do for me under dresses, but lord knows once that dress comes off...it is nooot pretty!

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  4. Ahhh come on at least show us how you look in the dress :) After I had my first baby I wore so many undergarments to help me fit into this dress I got to wear to a friends wedding. I felt so fat all night, even though I looked pretty ok. Now after 3 kids there is probably no way in hell I'll fit into anything. Man do I need to work on getting a diet going on. Sigh........

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  5. Wow, glad to hear that I wasn't the only one who had the problem of them not fitting! Next time, the shears need to take a little peek in mine! Time to go by some new ones and test out your way! :)

    Thanks lady! :)

    XOX,
    Little Miss Paige

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  6. I've been thinking about getting a pair of these but I'm wondering if their incredible uncomfortable?!

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  7. Well that's just cruel not to include pictures.

    I <3 spanx. It's come to the point where I won't even attend an event in a dress without 'em.

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  8. you are too much!! i have to share your story with my sister, who once wore TWO pairs of SPANX under a bridesmaid dress to make sure it fit!!

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  9. lol I can only imagine what this looked like! I want some spanx too for those slim dresses I have. What brand were the "knock offs"? I also got the cookbook this weekend! I have already picked out which recipes I will be making first, can't wait!

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I'd love to see what you have to say!

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