Working Girl

Tomorrow I will be taking myself out of "forced" retirement and will be rejoining the corporate world.
I have mixed feelings about this. 
On one hand, I will be taking home a paycheck again, with benefits and all those corporate goodies.
On the other hand, my alarm will be going off at 5:15 am.
Rising before the sun for work is something I haven't done for a LONG time.
I should probably go to bed now, just to save my body from the shock. But no, I'm updating my blog, something I haven't done consistently for awhile now.
Another thing I haven't done for awhile?
Worn heels.
Here's hoping I don't twist my ankle.
Happy (almost) Monday to everyone!

Recycle.

Hi friends!

It seems I have been away from my blog as of late.

I wish I could say it was because I have been "ohsobusy" but no. 

I'm unemployed, remember? 

Thankfully, I have finally landed a job, and I start in a month. Couldn't be more excited!

(seriously!)

But, since I have no good blogging material to share (besides the thousands of ideas in my head), I am re-posting what I wrote a year ago today. Because it hits home - then again it would hit home anytime I read it.

So read on.

Too many people put off something that brings them joy just because they haven't thought about it, don't have it on their schedule, didn't know it was coming or are too rigid to depart from their routine. 

I got to thinking one day about all those people on the Titanic who passed up dessert at dinner that fateful night in an effort to cut back. From then on, I've tried to be a little more flexible. 

How many women out there will eat at home because their husband didn't suggest going out to dinner until after something had been thawed? Does the word 'refrigeration' mean nothing to you? 

How often have your kids dropped in to talk and sat in silence while you watched ' Jeopardy ' on television? 

I cannot count the times I called my sister and said , 'How about going to lunch in a half hour?' She would gas up and stammer, 'I can't. I have clothes on the line. My hair is dirty. I wish I had known yesterday, I had a late breakfast, It looks like rain' And my personal favorite: 'It's Monday.' She died a few years ago. We never did have lunch together. 

Because people cram so much into their lives, we tend to schedule our headaches.. We live on a sparse diet of promises we make to ourselves when all the conditions are perfect! 

We'll go back and visit the grandparents when we get Steve toilet-trained. We'll entertain when we replace the living-room carpet. We'll go on a second honeymoon when we get two more kids out of college. 

Life has a way of accelerating as we get older. The days get shorter, and the list of promises to ourselves gets longer. One morning, we awaken, and all we have to show for our lives is a litany of 'I'm going to,' 'I plan on,' and 'Someday, when things are settled down a bit.' 

When anyone calls my 'seize the moment' friend, she is open to adventure and available for trips. She keeps an open mind on new ideas. Her enthusiasm for life is contagious. You talk with her for five minutes, and you're ready to trade your bad feet for a pair of Rollerblades and skip an elevator for a bungee cord. 

My lips have not touched ice cream in 10 years. I love ice cream. It's just that I might as well apply it directly to my stomach with a spatula and eliminate the digestive process. The other day, I stopped the car and bought a triple-decker. If my car had hit an iceberg on the way home, I would have died happy. 

Now...go on and have a nice day. Do something you WANT to...not something on your SHOULD DO list. If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting?

Summer

This weekend, my kindred spirit will be visiting me, and we will be doing this

and this

and this

and then I jump on a plane and land here

(Orange County)

Can’t wait to spend a week with my family!

And some friends 

But I guess I will miss this guy…

Books!

Once upon a time, I was a reader.

As in, there wasn’t a free moment in a day when I wasn’t reading.

I remember my first “big” book I read was Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, and I’m pretty sure I read it in 3 days, at the age of 10.

Growing up I did a lot of the tween books.

Sweet Valley High

Babysitters Club.

But it really didn’t matter what it was, I loved disappearing into a book for hours and hours.

Maybe it has something to do with being an introvert?

Anywho, at some point I hit a time in my life where books just weren’t that important. Sure, I liked them. But just found better things to do with my time (ahem, TiVo)

But now I’m back in the game.

I recently visited my local library, and the minute I walked in I loved the smell.

I will never buy a kindle/kobo/e-reader

Nothing against people who do, it’s just not my style.

But back to the library.

I picked up my new card, and checked out books like I would never be back.

(even though I have been back, twice)

I have once again fallen in love with reading, and it feels so good.

I also belong to goodreads, and a fantastic book club run by Girl With A New Life

The Smart Chicks Book Club

If you are an obsessed bookie, I think you should come join!

Creativity

Brilliant.Found here
"Nobody tells this to people who are beginners, I wish someone told me. All of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste. But there is this gap. For the first couple years you make stuff, it's just not that good. It's trying to be good, it has potential, but it's not. But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer. And your taste is why your work disappoints you. A lot of people never get past this phase, they quit." ~Ira Glass

Picture taken by me, July 2010, Laguna Beach Sawdust Festival

True

Love this...I found it here.
Date a girl who reads. Date a girl who spends her money on books instead of clothes. She has problems with closet space because she has too many books. Date a girl who has a list of books she wants to read, who has had a library card since she was twelve.

Find a girl who reads. You’ll know that she does because she will always have an unread book in her bag.She’s the one lovingly looking over the shelves in the bookstore, the one who quietly cries out when she finds the book she wants. You see the weird chick sniffing the pages of an old book in a second hand book shop? That’s the reader. They can never resist smelling the pages, especially when they are yellow.

She’s the girl reading while waiting in that coffee shop down the street. If you take a peek at her mug, the non-dairy creamer is floating on top because she’s kind of engrossed already. Lost in a world of the author’s making. Sit down. She might give you a glare, as most girls who read do not like to be interrupted. Ask her if she likes the book.

Buy her another cup of coffee.

Let her know what you really think of Murakami. See if she got through the first chapter of Fellowship. Understand that if she says she understood James Joyce’s Ulysses she’s just saying that to sound intelligent. 

Ask her if she loves Alice or she would like to be Alice.

(I loved this line! I talked about the book here.)

It’s easy to date a girl who reads. Give her books for her birthday, for Christmas and for anniversaries. Give her the gift of words, in poetry, in song. Give her Neruda, Pound, Sexton, Cummings. Let her know that you understand that words are love. Understand that she knows the difference between books and reality but by god, she’s going to try to make her life a little like her favorite book. It will never be your fault if she does.

She has to give it a shot somehow.

Lie to her. If she understands syntax, she will understand your need to lie. Behind words are other things: motivation, value, nuance, dialogue. It will not be the end of the world.

Fail her. Because a girl who reads knows that failure always leads up to the climax. Because girls who understand that all things will come to end. That you can always write a sequel. That you can begin again and again and still be the hero. That life is meant to have a villain or two.

Why be frightened of everything that you are not? Girls who read understand that people, like characters, develop. Except in the Twilight series.

If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are.

You will propose on a hot air balloon. Or during a rock concert. Or very casually next time she’s sick. Over Skype.

You will smile so hard you will wonder why your heart hasn’t burst and bled out all over your chest yet. You will write the story of your lives, have kids with strange names and even stranger tastes. She will introduce your children to the Cat in the Hat and Aslan, maybe in the same day. You will walk the winters of your old age together and she will recite Keats under her breath while you shake the snow off your boots.

Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads.

Or better yet, date a girl who writes. 

 Rosemary Urquico

This was written in response to You Should Date an Illiterate Girl

Today.

 

"A man is but the product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes. " - Mohandas K. Gandhi

Déjà vu.

I walk out of a house, sun is shining, screen door slaps against the door frame behind me. I pull my wavy blonde hair into a ponytail, grab a brown basket, smooth out the skirt of my yellow dress, walk out under a massive tree and….that’s it.

For the past few years, I have this recurring image that pops into my head at random times. It shows up when I’m daydreaming, about to go to bed, making dinner, reading. I’m not kidding when I say at any time, this image will just flash in my head.

Its odd for a few reasons. I despise the color yellow on me. I haven’t had blonde hair for as long as I can remember. And it always just….ends. Sometimes I will sit there and try to conjure up some sort of continuation, as if I’m being told the story of my life and the person just closed the book without finishing. I practically beg my brain to show me what’s next. But it never happens. And I just go back to what I was doing before, and the image is forgotten.

I could try and analyze it for hours, but really, what is there to analyze?

Screen door, brown basket, yellow dress, blonde hair, big tree. No deep meaning there.

But I do know there is a reason my brain decides to fire this image for me at random times. I just hope someday it either comes to me, or the image continues on to some sort of story.

Anyone else this crazy?

Important.

Welp. This made me tear up.

Nutshell.

Random things About Me I felt like sharing.

I love Oprah. I know people either love her or hate her, but I love her and all the things she does for people. Hate her if you want to, I don’t want to hear it.

I have a tendency to come up with brilliant ideas, get excited, tell the world about them, and then give up on myself.

I don’t believe people when they tell me I’m a good writer, and not to give up on it.

I’ve recently started eating clean. Not only have I lost 7 lbs, I’ve never felt better about myself or my body.

The Boy recently told me I have smiled more in the past 2 weeks than I have in the past 4 months. It made me happy.

I need to travel more. I’m not getting any younger

I don’t think my sisters realize they are my best friends. All of them.

I am funny. I used to be funnier, but I was also sarcastic and cynical then. You don’t have to laugh with me, I am just fine laughing at myself

I don’t know when or how, but I have totally lost my rhythm. I miss tearing up a dance floor.

2007 was my favorite year to date. I was going broke, and making not so good decisions – but I learned a lot about myself, met some great people, and have the greatest memories of that year. I miss San Diego.

My boyfriend doesn’t believe I used to be a crazy fun girl. I miss her sometimes.

I LOVE CHAMPAGNE! The cheaper, the better.

I look forward to reading blogs, and feel like I am friends with these people, even though I have never met them (with the exception of one) and probably never will.

I like how proud Texans are of their state. Never in a million years would you see a house in California waving their state flag in their front yard.

I really want to go blonde again, but I know I never will.

I miss the beach.

All my favorite memories tend to star my five favorite people (minus the boy)

• Walking 14 blocks, barefoot, in downtown San Diego, and finishing an entire pizza before making it home. I’m pretty sure I was with my kindred spirit.
• I have a lot of funny memories involving Morgan.
• “Borrowing” a cheesecake from a coffee shop I worked at after hours, getting spooked by the bagel delivery guy, and the priceless look on Mody’s face.
• Somehow pulling the door of Carly’s mom’s minivan, and calling AAA thinking they can somehow help
• My 27th birthday/Halloween party at Pequito.
• Summer of 2005 at the HV
• Martini’s and Vegas with MC
• Watching Fringe with my BFF. Miss that guy.

I’m apprehensive about working in a cubicle again, but I know it’s the only thing to do if I want to make a living to enjoy my life.

I still don’t believe myself when I have to say “I’m 31”

I would wear dresses everyday if I could.

How is that for random. Who wants to tell me something random about themselves?

Perfect.

 

I’m very lucky that the boyfriend is crafty. Not in the needle and thread kind of way, but in the experimenting with food and wood. Not usually together, but ironically today that is different, because he is out in the garage building me a big ol’ garden box from scratch. Like the one he built me here, but better.

I decided to go out and visit for a little bit, and brave through the flying sawdust and 70% humidity. As I was sitting there watching him saw away, he overcut through a piece of wood and thought his project was officially screwed up. Then he dropped his beverage. I thought, oh boy – now he is going to give up and his day is going to be ruined. But instead he stepped outside the area, lit up a cigarette, paced back and forth and finally said “We’ll work around it, it just won’t be perfect.

Oh how true that statement is.

Dream A Little Dream

Yesterday, I had a dream I was in the process of making into reality. Had you asked me yesterday how big of a dream it was, I would have said "pretty huge!" Had you asked me yesterday how much I thought about the details and sacrifices I would have to make to pursue that dream, I would have said "yea, sure."

I would have been completely lying.

Today I woke up and that dream was no longer. A problem I have (I know some of you will say this isnt a problem) is I dream BIG. Sometimes I let the dream and idea get the best of me, and wont listen to any naysayers. I dont factor life into the equation. I brush aside everything I ever wanted before this dream, and just put my blinders on and say "Im going for it!"

Last night I went to bed at 1am, and woke up at 3:19 in a sweat. I tossed and turned, and thought, and built things up, and tore them down, made a mental pro and con list, listened to the "YES!" girl in my brain, eavesdropped on the "No!" lady in my head.

Two months ago had you asked me what my big dream was, I would have said "a writer!" 

Two years ago had you asked me what my big dream was, I would have said "event planner!"

Early this morning, around 6 am, had you asked me what my big dream was, I would have said "a family lady. I want to have kids, I want to buy a big beautiful home, I want to go on camping trips, I want to travel with my husband, I want to be debt free, I want to drive a mid size SUV (no minivan - sorry Nay!), I want to video tape my kids in school plays, I want to take them to the beach, I want to celebrate elaborate anniversaries with my husband, I want to have a mortgage and a pride of ownership in my home, I want a 2 car garage, a ranch style house with black shutters, a cooking kitchen, a family pet, Christmas photo cards. 

And I have never been so sure of this dream in my life. 

this is where my family goes "say what?!"

And my boyfriend goes "Ummmm?"

And everyone else says "Well, why cant you have both? Why cant you have the family and the dream career? Why cant you decide you want to be happy and have it all?

And you are right. I can have it all. But Im not like that. When reality hits me at 3am and leaves me in a cold sweat for 4 hours, I realize that at the end of the day, in order to achieve the latest dream (of being a chef, by the way), I would have to put my "family" dream on the back burner. And when I thought of that, I started to cry. 

And so for the rest of my life, I will thank the dream of going to culinary school for making me realize that deep down, really, truly - I want what a lot of women will tell me Im crazy for wanting.

I want to be a wife and a mom.

(cringe)

**but I will still write, and I will still cook. Because these things make me happy, and I dont have to pay back the debt of happy hobbies for the rest of my life.

(no Im not pregnant)

Best Thing I Have Ever Read

Talk about timing. A friend sent this to me at the perfect time. I think everyone can get something out of it.

How To Steal Like An Artist

Plain.

I know this sounds weird, but I have had an emotional reaction - to a commercial.

Not only because I think its an amazing commercial - considering its an ad for greek yogurt. But I relate to the poem. Its how I have felt about myself in the past year or so, and how I see my near future.

Plain was the same as it ever was the same.
Plainly plain…
Samely same…
But then…someone lit the flame.
Plain rode away on lion’s mane.
Where plain met fruits with strangely names.
Such wonderful things they did contain.
A shot of life to a hungry vein.
The captive beast who broke the chain.
And there upon that fruited plane,
is where plain became what plain became.
So much more than more than plain. 
Plain will never be the same.

Here's hoping my life has a little color soon.

Dream.

source

"Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm."- Ralph Waldo Emerson 

This year, while watching the Oscars, I felt inspired to.....

• Write a book.
• Love what I do.
• Do my hair and makeup more often.
• Be legendary (even if its only to my own kids)
• Be so amazing, that someone cries while thanking me on TV (or just cries while thanking me in general)
• Drink Diet Coke (I really love that commercial.)
• Do something good in the world.

Be deliriously happy or at least leave yourself open to be. - Meet Joe Black

Hahaha

This had me in stitches. I know a few people like this!

Sorry for such a cheating post. Ive got 17 days left until I'm in my bestie's wedding, 22 days left of work and 28 days left until I move. Things are crazy!

Reminder.

I can't take credit for this, I saw it here 

Life is too short.

October 13, 2010 by Johnny Cupcakes

"Recently I was on an airplane that almost crashed. We blindly flew through a dangerous storm for an hour. Almost the entire airplane was holding hands with each other while the flight attendants paced back & forth, looking like they had just seen ghosts. Even the pilot was scared, talking very fast, in a frantic voice. I thought that was it. Most of us thought that was it. Some how, some way, we managed to land the airplane safely.

Life is too short and unpredictable to be unhappy, to be negative, to have regrets, or to even hold grudges. If you have any loose ends, baggage, or unhappiness in any parts of your life – I recommended fixing things. It might be simple or it might be a challenge, but it will for sure be a lot of weight lifted off your shoulders in the end."

Living.

I cant take credit for writing this - I received it as a forwarded email. But once I read it, I knew I had to share.

Too many people put off something that brings them joy just because they haven't thought about it, don't have it on their schedule, didn't know it was coming or are too rigid to depart from their routine. 

I got to thinking one day about all those people on the Titanic who passed up dessert at dinner that fateful night in an effort to cut back. From then on, I've tried to be a little more flexible. 

How many women out there will eat at home because their husband didn't suggest going out to dinner until after something had been thawed? Does the word 'refrigeration' mean nothing to you? 

How often have your kids dropped in to talk and sat in silence while you watched ' Jeopardy ' on television? 

I cannot count the times I called my sister and said , 'How about going to lunch in a half hour?' She would gas up and stammer, 'I can't. I have clothes on the line. My hair is dirty. I wish I had known yesterday, I had a late breakfast, It looks like rain' And my personal favorite: 'It's Monday.' She died a few years ago. We never did have lunch together. 

Because people cram so much into their lives, we tend to schedule our headaches.. We live on a sparse diet of promises we make to ourselves when all the conditions are perfect! 

We'll go back and visit the grandparents when we get Steve toilet-trained. We'll entertain when we replace the living-room carpet. We'll go on a second honeymoon when we get two more kids out of college. 

Life has a way of accelerating as we get older. The days get shorter, and the list of promises to ourselves gets longer. One morning, we awaken, and all we have to show for our lives is a litany of 'I'm going to,' 'I plan on,' and 'Someday, when things are settled down a bit.' 

When anyone calls my 'seize the moment' friend, she is open to adventure and available for trips. She keeps an open mind on new ideas. Her enthusiasm for life is contagious. You talk with her for five minutes, and you're ready to trade your bad feet for a pair of Rollerblades and skip an elevator for a bungee cord. 

My lips have not touched ice cream in 10 years. I love ice cream. It's just that I might as well apply it directly to my stomach with a spatula and eliminate the digestive process. The other day, I stopped the car and bought a triple-decker. If my car had hit an iceberg on the way home, I would have died happy. 

Now...go on and have a nice day. Do something you WANT to...not something on your SHOULD DO list. If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting?

Is It Fall Yet?

"Listen!  the wind is rising, and the air is wild with leaves,
We have had our summer evenings, now for October eves!"
-  Humbert Wolfe

I love me some fall. Which last week was an easy thing to think about, with the weird, cooler Southern California summer we are having. I dreamt of making soups, wearing sweaters, taking a trip to pick apples and pumpkins. Decorating for Halloween, busting my boots out of hiding, getting my jackets ready for winter.

So waking up this morning at 7 am and seeing it was already 79 degrees outside, put a serious gash in my dreams. My co worker walked in saying "beach day, lets ditch work!" and I replied with "ugh its so hot and muggy" when really, its a beautiful summer day outside.

Funny thing is about living where I live - fall doesn't really exist. We know its there, because the calendar says so. But you have to travel somewhat far to see any leaves turning color. Or atleast enough to make a beautiful difference. Sometimes in the fall,  I will wake up in the morning, and the air feels crisp and cool and I will put on a jacket and a pair of boots. And the by noon, I'm sweating bullets and can't wait to get home and throw on some flip flops. 

So maybe what I crave right about this time of year, doesn't exist. Or maybe its just change I crave. Regardless, I have a big pot of tomato bisque at home waiting to be devoured. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go do some sort of rain dance. 

How To Fail As A Girlfriend

Yesterday was my "pseudo"versary. Its like my anniversary, but The Boyfriend and I got off to an awkward dating start, so we really dont know what our technical anniversary is. Not that it matters, I think anniversaries are really worth celebrating when you are married, and his past girlfriends always made a HUGE deal about remembering the dates of everything, so I always just never really planned on making a big deal out of it.

Whoops.

So last night I come home from work to this

And this...

yep, he is wearing my rooster apron

I cant forget to mention that he even FOLDED the paper napkins

He doesn't cook, he grills. So to come home to him cooking me spicy meatballs FROM SCRATCH, and making spicy tomato sauce FROM SCRATCH, and pasta and garlic bread and my favorite champagne? Its pretty monumental.

I walked in with nothing.

GIRLFRIEND FAIL.