Image Courtesy of Todd White

Tuesday, March 01, 2011


If God had intended us to follow recipes,
He wouldn't have given us grandmothers.

I've been trying to write this post for over a year now. And every time I sit down and start, nothing happens. It's as if I can't think of the words to express what she was to me, and everyone around her.

Four years ago today I lost my grandma, the only real grandma I have ever known.
I miss her. 

Although I have great memories from the 28 years she was in my life, I feel like the special things are happening that she isn't physically here for. And although I know she was there in a sense, it’s just not the same without her.

She has the greatest great grandkids! I wish she could have watched Kayla grow up. She is the sweetest, most polite little girl. There is always a smile on her face, and she is always making the people around her happy. And Ben, what a smart boy. He has been intelligent since he was able to talk, and such a good big brother to Riley. Riley has the sassiest personality! That girl has been smiling since the minute she was born, and even when she is sick she manages to laugh and play. And little June – although I haven’t met her yet, I can tell she is a beautiful, smart little baby girl.

She missed my sister getting married. One whole year later, its still kinda weird to say. My little sister, all grown up. And at one point during the ceremony I thought about my grandma, and how she wasn't there, and it made me incredibly sad.

I have met the most incredible guy, and it brings tears to my eyes to think she will never be able to meet him, and vice versa. It’s been the greatest 18 months of my life, and I can’t imagine my life without him. He has an amazing family, a good heart, and treats me really well. And I wish she could have been around to see that.

My grandma was a special woman, and I hate to say I didn't realize how incredible she was until she was no longer here.

“She still talks to me now, only now she talks to me in my dreams. And I can’t wait to go to sleep tonight, because we have a lot to talk about. I love you.” - Jamie Foxx, talking about his grandma after winning his Oscar


  1. I realize how much I look like her year, I have her crooked second toe, and there are certain pics where I say 'omg, i'm my mother'! She lives in each of us, everyday... and she is there! She was very proud of her grandchildren and is, up there, dancing a jig of joy at her great grandchildren! There is a lil' bit of her in each of us! Dance like you know she's watching!

    Miss her madly! Beautiful tribute Laurnie!

  2. What a beautiful offering, Lauren. It is hard to believe it has been 4 years. I truly believe that she has been watching over us and guides us through the success we have had. One of the quotes that we remember so well is "This too shall pass."

    We miss her greatly. Thank you for the wonderful tribute!

  3. Aww that is so sweet. Grandparents can be so amazing. I barely knew my grandmother - she died when I was 6, but my grandfather is basically like my father. It's strange to think that he may not still be around when I get married. Hopefully he'll still be around to meet my baby.

  4. Beautiful post, Laurnie. A great tribute to someone I'm sure was every bit of what you wrote and so much more.

  5. Lauren,
    This is beautiful. She was an amazing woman and you all are honoring her in so many ways. Your family is truly special and I am so glad to be apart of it as a semi sister-in-law. Around our house Grandma Robbies Broccoli Salad is a favorite and it makes me smile every time that I make it because I know that she is looking down on you girls and seeing the amazing accomplishments you have made and the beautiful women you have become as well.
    All my love, Shannon

  6. sorry to hear about your loss of your grandmother. Grandmas are so special!

  7. Grandmas are awesome. :) Both of mine were wonderful and I miss them both so much. Some times even now I see something and think, "I must tell my gran about that" before I remember, I can't. Bah.

    I'm sure your grandma was proud of you!

  8. Any of the good in me is because of her. She was the absolute core of our family. It still makes me numb thinking of the day she left us. She was strong through it all and stayed comitted to loveing all of us unconditionally. Our memories are her legacy. I miss you mom.


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