If God had intended us to follow recipes,
He wouldn't have given us grandmothers.
I've been trying to write this post for over a year now. And every time I sit down and start, nothing happens. It's as if I can't think of the words to express what she was to me, and everyone around her.
Four years ago today I lost my grandma, the only real grandma I have ever known.
I miss her.
Although I have great memories from the 28 years she was in my life, I feel like the special things are happening that she isn't physically here for. And although I know she was there in a sense, it’s just not the same without her.
She has the greatest great grandkids! I wish she could have watched Kayla grow up. She is the sweetest, most polite little girl. There is always a smile on her face, and she is always making the people around her happy. And Ben, what a smart boy. He has been intelligent since he was able to talk, and such a good big brother to Riley. Riley has the sassiest personality! That girl has been smiling since the minute she was born, and even when she is sick she manages to laugh and play. And little June – although I haven’t met her yet, I can tell she is a beautiful, smart little baby girl.
She missed my sister getting married. One whole year later, its still kinda weird to say. My little sister, all grown up. And at one point during the ceremony I thought about my grandma, and how she wasn't there, and it made me incredibly sad.
I have met the most incredible guy, and it brings tears to my eyes to think she will never be able to meet him, and vice versa. It’s been the greatest 18 months of my life, and I can’t imagine my life without him. He has an amazing family, a good heart, and treats me really well. And I wish she could have been around to see that.
My grandma was a special woman, and I hate to say I didn't realize how incredible she was until she was no longer here.
“She still talks to me now, only now she talks to me in my dreams. And I can’t wait to go to sleep tonight, because we have a lot to talk about. I love you.” - Jamie Foxx, talking about his grandma after winning his Oscar