Image Courtesy of Todd White

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Outta Sight, Outta Mind


No distance of place or lapse of time can lessen the friendship of those who are thoroughly persuaded of each other's worth.  ~Robert Southey

Once upon a time I wrote a post. Then I deleted it. Then I rewrote it, and saved it thinking I would never publish it. Then I read this from The Faux Trixie and decided, meh. Hit publish.

I don’t 100% believe in the term “absence makes the heart grow fonder.” I believe it does one of two things – either makes you go crazy because you can’t see that person (like long distance relationships) or it just makes you…forget. Not completely forget. With things like twitter and Facebook, its impossible to forget people that were once in your lives. But that’s just the thing….

Say I didn’t have a Facebook account? I wouldn’t know what was going on in half of my “friends” lives, and vice versa. But at the same time, I also wouldn’t know what I have been missing out on as well. That’s the part that saddens me the most. In the 6 months that I have moved away from my friends, and then even further away, I have realized who and what matters.

Once upon a time, I thought the more friends I had to call, the more full my life would be. Which is quite odd for an introvert, since being around people doesn’t recharge me. I went out a lot, met new people, did new things. And I thought, “This is what life is all about! I have 20+ people I can call my good friends, a full social calendar, a decent income, parties to plan and life to live.”

Then I moved away, and things changed. I knew moving to a state where I knew no one, this would happen. I would have to go out and meet new girlfriends, people to meet for happy hour, someone to go see horrible girly movies with. I knew this. I just didn’t expect to lose touch with the friends from before. And its not entirely their fault. I haven’t exactly picked up the phone and said “Fill me in! What’s going on in your life? How is work? How is love? How is the weather?” But I have. And the thing is, it hasn’t been with everyone. Its just been with a handful of people that 20 years from now, I STILL see in my life. Because through thick and thin, and years of memories, there are a select few that have a recurring role in the movie of my life. And ironically, a few of them had moved away from me first.

So no, I don’t believe absence makes the heart grow fonder. I’m more of a believer in out of sight, out of mind. But that’s ok, because I know there are a few people who keep me in their thoughts more often than not, and I’m betting those are the same people I keep in mine.

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