I wanna be a rockstar.
No, just kidding.
Growing up, a lot of people “know” what they want to be. When I was little, I wanted to be a lawyer and drive a Mercedes Benz. I had no idea what lawyers did, but my parents said I was good at arguing and that’s what I should be, so I went with it. I also thought “Benz” was a type of car Mercedes made. I didn’t know there were things like C and E Class. I just wanted the “Benz.”
In high school, I went back and forth. Marine Biologist. But then someone said “You are either going to spend years on a boat, or work at Sea World” and I buried that dream (no offense to any marine biologists out there. Im sure your job calls for a lot more responsibilities, Im just going with what I was told). One suggested computers, but I was not interested in the world of IT. As senior year grew close, and people thought of college and majors, I was still so unsure of my calling. So I decided Id just go to school and get my degree in business. Then I graduated, and bypassed college altogether and just threw myself into the job world. I worked data entry for a marketing company by day, and coffee shop barista by night. Then I moved onto office manager. Then I moved onto mortgage. Then I ran away from mortgage and moved back to office manager. Now Im 30, wondering what the hell I want to be when I grow up.
I have to say, Im kinda glad I didn’t spend gobs of money on tuition, only to get a degree in something that I probably would end up loathing. Sure, a business degree is great. And sure, I ended up sitting in an office everyday for work. But this just isn’t ME. Unfortunately, Im still trying to figure out what ME wants to do.
Photography? Might be more of a hobby. Writer? I don’t know if I have what it takes. Nursing School? I may not have the attention span at this age for that much college work. I know Baz Luhrman once said
“Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life…the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don’t.”
I definitely don’t feel guilty. I just don’t feel like Im doing what Im supposed to be doing. Don’t get me wrong, I love my job. I work for a great, caring boss who lets me do whatever I want while I manage the office, including reading books and writing a blog (well, he doesn’t know about the blog. But I know he wouldn’t be opposed to it). Im definitely not challenged here everyday, but its ok, I don’t need to be right now. This job is giving me the freedom to figure out what it is Im supposed to be doing, for a career. Im just waiting for the inspiration. Where are ya?
Maybe Ill eventually become a stay at home mom, and realize that’s my calling. THAT just kind of freaked me out even saying that. Eh, who knows. I guess Ill just keep coming up with ideas until something sticks.
Tell me, what do YOU do for work, and is it something you love?